Hypnobirthing
When I tell people I am a hypnobirthing coach I get it all. The eye-rolls, the sniggers, the lip farts. So, I smile graciously and do my utmost to let it pass. Because it’s not for everyone, and that is OK. It took me a long time to realise that I do not need to and nor am I able to please everyone. When I was preparing to meet my little boy I was full of all the anxieties of a much-wanted pregnancy. But through birth preparation I was finally able to understand what it really means to participate in self-care. At the heart hypnobirthing, we are learning to tune into ourselves. Tune into what we really want and need. As a new mum we want the health and happiness of our babies. But we need to be seen and heard and respected. By our partners, our peers and by the people who help us to birth our babies. I am here to shout from the rooftops that the birth of a healthy and happy baby can happen in tandem with a birthing experience which meets those raw human needs of the people bringing life into this world.
Very basically, hypnobirthing is ante-natal education. Each course will follow a unique structure and it is vitally important that any expectant parents do their research to find a
hypnobirthing specialist who suits them. Aberdeen is thankfully well-served with a whole variety of hypnobirthing teachers. At The Brilliant Birth Club, we follow a 4 week plan developed by a midwife and clinical hypnotherapist from The Little Birth Company.
Week 1 – The principles of hypnobirthing and the impact of fear
Week 2 – The body, the brain and birth
Week 3 – How to prepare for meeting your baby
Week 4 – Meeting your baby and the 4th trimester
We hear a lot about the tools and techniques of hypnobirthing. To name a few these include relaxation, self hypnosis, birthing positions, breathwork, accessing healthcare and birth planning.
Advocacy as self-care
The technique which I see time and time again as having the biggest impact on the mental health of new parents as a result of hypnobirthing is learning the tool of advocacy.
For someone who is pregnant, self advocacy simply means having the ability to ask for what you need and want and telling people about your thoughts and feelings.
Many women have learnt to go quietly. Don’t make a fuss, be a good girl, sugar and spice and all things nice. Parallel to this, it has come into our collective consciousness that birth is dangerous. Birth partners are scared and decisions born out of fear are not sound.
Birth partners can act as an advocate by:
- listening to the views and concerns of the person pregnant
- helping to explore options and rights (without pressuring)
- providing information to help make informed decisions
- helping to make contact with relevant people
- accompanying and supporting in meetings or appointments
Is birth safe?
Arguably, yes. Hypnobirthing works as a gentle reminder that birth is inherently safe. That is why humans have lasted as long as we have. Before language, before medicine, before climate change and before hypnobirthing even existed - birth worked. And in the cases where we need or want some additional help, advocacy is the tool that allows us to give birth in a way which is truly unique to our situation. Afterall, we are just 1 in many billion. Entirely unique and so should our births be. As this is the case, it is fair to deduce that our self-care needs are individual and unique too.
True self-care for expectant parents
Rather than checking off another to-do list of self-care tasks, I encourage expectant parents to sit with their needs. To really ask what they want out of this once in a lifetime opportunity. I don’t have a crystal ball and neither does the doctor. Neither of us can tell how a baby will turn, when the waters will break or even if they will. There is so much that we cannot know about birth and there is so much that we cannot control. But most of us have evolved into well-rounded and functioning human beings. We can control how we respond to our experiences. We can set our boundaries and we can use our voices to ask for what we need. Self-care while pregnant might look like a walk in the park, a massage, reflexology, journalling, mocktails with the girls or buying expensive baby outfits that will get worn once. The point is, it is entirely up to you what you need to look after yourself. If we can build self-care habits in our pregnancies then we begin to naturally model self-care habits to our babies and our children. We teach them that they are valued and important members of our society and that self-care is not selfish. Because when we have our own needs met, we make space to look out for the needs of others.
It is my greatest joy and privilege to witness women in their power. As they learn with hypnobirthing that the narrative of their children’s birth does not need to be a horror story. One of the ways that I encourage self-care after the birth of a baby is by writing down or honouring your birth story in a way that feels right for you. Hypnobirthing is for all births. For all babies, for all people. From water births to caesarean births women are brilliant at giving birth. I can’t promise that it won’t be painful. It might be scary, it might be long but if you allow space for the possibility, it might also be joyous. If you think that hypnobirthing could help you on your path to parenthood, I’d love to hear from you. I’d love to hear your story and I’d love the opportunity to explore the many different ways that you can make your birth brilliant.
Lara-Jo is a hypnobirthing coach based in Aberdeen and Shire. Alongside her work for expectant parents she runs women and mother’s circles and can often be found chasing a toddler round the beach.
You can connect with her on Instagram @thebrilliantbirthclub or visit the website www.thebrilliantclub.com to book a free connection call.