You Are What You Think You Are
When you think about yourself as a person, what comes up? Do it now, take a moment to think about yourself and just observe what words, beliefs and feelings appear.
You might say I’m a brilliant Mum, a wonderful Dad, a friend, a great friend actually, someone who is always happy, always there for others. You might say I’m a strong person, a brave person, I’m full of confidence! You may feel loved, grateful, happy, excited, powerful… and it would be amazing if everyone automatically had positive thoughts about themselves however, as a Mindset Coach I know for some it can be a real struggle.
For some of you the list might have included things like failure, confused, anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, lacking confidence or I wish I was more this or that. You might say I’d love to be that kind of person but it’s just not me.
The thoughts we think, create feelings within ourselves which then determines our behaviour and the choices we make. The person you are today is a direct result of those thoughts.
Where do these thoughts and feelings come from? How did they get there? Surely we wouldn’t choose to think negatively about ourselves? And you know sometimes it can happen without us even realising. Our beliefs are formed through life experiences for example someone tells you you're no good at Maths, in that moment you have 2 choices:
- You reject this statement and think I’ll prove them wrong
- You accept that statement and a belief is formed
You may then go through life always believing this to be true about yourself, and it more often than not will cause you to create more beliefs such as I’m stupid, I’m not as clever as other people etc. But these thoughts that we have about ourselves, that’s all that they are, a thought. We hold the power to change them, it was after all created in our mind. You can choose to change your thoughts, change the feelings within you and as a result change your behaviour and the choices you are making on a daily basis.
Who here loves a comfort zone? Hands up! We all do!! It’s what we know best, it does exactly what it says on the tin, it keeps us feeling comfortable and stops us from experiencing any uncomfortable feelings. And although this sounds like a nice place to be it isn’t always, in fact, some people stay in a comfort zone of pain for example a child at school may be mistreated by a friend but they continue to hang about with that friend because it’s all they know, it’s less scary than the thought of breaking ties and trying to make new friends. When you think about your limiting beliefs what do they want? Is it to keep you safe? Maybe it’s to save you from failing, save you from experiencing pain that you did in the past? Our limiting beliefs will try to keep us in these comfort zones, they think that they are doing us a favour but the truth is they are stopping us from growing and experiencing all that life has to offer, things we may look back on in the future and think I wish I gave that a go. It doesn’t matter how long you have held a belief in your mind, you can let it go, you can choose to replace it with a better one, one that’s going to support you, cheer you on as you do the things that you really want.
7 Steps to Get Rid of Limiting Beliefs
- Identify your limiting beliefs and negative thoughts about yourself - What are your limiting beliefs? You can list these down now, be absolutely honest with yourself, it can sometimes be hard to admit these or even acknowledge them but when we start to work through them I promise it will be worth it!
- Where did they come from? – When you think about these beliefs you have about yourself where do they come from? Was it from an experience? Something someone said to you many years ago? Maybe the person who said it to you was going through a tough time or just having a bad day and snapped, said something they didn’t really mean. When we start to look at these beliefs in detail, we can loosen the grip by simply questioning them, thinking of evidence that goes against this limiting belief to disprove it.
- What is this limiting belief holding me back from doing? – Imagine this belief and the feelings it caused didn’t exist, what would you be doing differently?
- What is a better belief that would support me going forward? – How would life change if this was your new belief? What would your life look like? How would it make you feel? What would you hear? Make that picture in your mind exciting and real.
- Mute those negative thoughts – How are you speaking to yourself on a daily basis? We are done with those negative thoughts and limiting beliefs, you choose to no longer accept them to be true therefore anytime they pop back into your head I want to you imagine pressing a mute button as many times as you need to.
- Insert a positive inner voice – It’s time for you to insert your positive inner voice, that new positive belief that’s going to support you. Get clear on what your new belief is going to be and hear yourself say it in your mind in your own voice. Practice this several times daily, just as you learnt that old belief your subconscious will learn to accept this new one. You can also create other affirmations that resonate with you and support this new belief, go crazy on the positive vibes!
- Take action – It’s time to take action and step out of your comfort zone. I want you to feel the fear and do it anyway. It can be a tiny step or a massive leap, just start to move yourself out of that comfort zone. YES, it may feel uncomfortable to start with but the more you challenge yourself the more your confidence will grow. Your comfort zone will actually expand, what once scared you will now come naturally!
Rachael Morrice is a Mindset coach qualified in NLP, Hypnotherapy and IEMT working in Aberdeen and online helping those dealing with Anxiety, Stress, Overwhelm, Low mood, Trauma and Confidence building. She also runs a weekly Relaxation Hypnosis Class at Breathing Space, Huntly Street on a Wednesday evening 7-8pm. For more Mindset tips or to book a 1:1 session or class you can follow Rachael on Instagram or Facebook @rachaelmorricecoaching.
